i miss how you would smile like an angel.

you've always had the greatest smile on your cute little face. i remember when i was younger, during my rebellious age, i was an emo kid. i didn't like smiling, i hated everyone as though they owed me something. but the truth was, nobody owed me anything, i just wanted to be emo because i think i looked cool with the very trendy emo look. oh how childish i was back then. but on the other hand, you smiled even when you were sick and in pain, you didn't blame anyone for having to go through all these at such a young age.



i miss how you used to wake me up in the middle of the night just to play chor dai di with you.

knowing me, i sleep like a pig and it's not an easy job to wake me up. but you never gave up, you would shake, hit, bite, tickle or shout at me untill i was finally awake. as usual, i was reluctant to play with you at first. but you showed me your very innocent face with your big watery eyes staring at me, begging me to play just one game with you, finally i gave in. i knew it in my heart that you were having sleepless nights, you just wanted someone to do something fun with you.



i miss how you would beg me to repeat my stupid stories just so you could laugh more.

you were always there eagerly waiting for me to come back from school, then we would have lunch together. that was the time when i would tell you everything that happened to me in school, and you listened to me attentively as though i was giving a very important speech. you would asked me questions about my friends and teachers, laughed at every funny little things i said, and forced me to repeat every single details on the stories you liked. you were always there for me whenever i needed someone to talk to, and never failed to keep my dirty little secrets.



i miss how we would dance along the song - asereja by las ketchup

we used to have the whole television to ourselves back then, our favourite channels were mtv and channel v. we would try our best not to miss any programs shown in these two channels, i couldn't recall what were our favourite programs back then but i do remember who were our favourite vj's. yours was paula malai ali but i used to like sarah tan a lot. obviously both of us have different likings sometimes, but we hardly fight over anything. i mean, yeah, we do fight but not always. i remember there was once, the song - asereja was played on tv so both of us danced along this song. you were so hyper at that time, while you were dancing, you accidentally knocked your head towards the wall. from then onwards, i don't allow you to dance along this song anymore, 'cause i didn't want you to hurt yourself.



i miss how you always refused to admit that you actually miss me a lot.

i remember there was once i went to singapore for a school trip, if i'm not mistaken, it was a four days three nights trip. i printed out the itinerary so that you would roughly know where i went or maybe i should rephrase it to, you would roughly know where was i and what i was doing when you missed me. so yeah, i heard that when i was away, you checked the itinerary list almost every hour. i know you missed me a lot, but you just refused to admit it. even when you were admitted to the hospital, you would call me and we would spent hours talking on the phone, 'cause you said phone calls from the hospital were free of charge. i know you couldn't live without me, although sometimes you said i annoyed you a lot.



i can go on and on telling you how much i miss you, how much i want you to come back, listing out things that we are supposed to do together, but i still can't change the fact that you are now in a better place. deep down in my heart, i really hope that you've never left us. but it's okay 'cause somehow i can still feel your presence with us and you are always that bubbly little kid i've known since young.